Feb 11, 2017
This recorded live webcast is Part 6 of Living with Joy, Dying in Peace, a six-part series with Tenzin Wangyal Rinpoche.
The time may come when you feel called to support a friend or loved one through the struggles of aging, sickness, and death. According to the Tibetan traditions, to be of true service a helper needs three beneficial qualities: openness, awareness, and warmth. Geshe Tenzin Wangyal Rinpoche explains how to:
- Open yourself more fully to your friend or loved one without being driven by fears or expectations.
- Connect more fully with the person, rather than disengaging due to stress, emotion, or compassion fatigue.
- Host the other person in the warmth of loving-kindness, to nurture a genuine sense of acceptance, comfort, protection, and trust.
Post-video summary:
Tenzin Wangyal Rinpoche emphasizes that the most important aspect of helping loved ones through sickness and death is genuine connection and presence. He explains that often, people try to help with plans and actions based on their own expectations or needs, which can create distance instead of comfort. True help arises from stillness, openness, and deep connection—sometimes simply being present is enough. He encourages listeners to be aware of their own motivations and to practice flexibility and empathy by imagining themselves in the position of the person needing help. The core message is that without authentic connection, no amount of action or planning will be truly helpful. Pain or discomfort in these situations can serve as a signal that connection is missing. Ultimately, helping is about forgetting oneself and being fully present for the other person.